He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
