I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
