no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
