I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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