All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
