Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
