Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
