Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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