He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
