I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
