i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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