So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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