Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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