ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
