So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
