I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
ok first of all what the fuck
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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