Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
