Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
