I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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