Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
