I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
