Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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