Can i not drive my cunt home
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
