omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
