Kiss
Puke
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
