Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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