you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
