i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
