You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
