I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
