I'm really into asian looking animals
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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