do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize