these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
