She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
