to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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