are you still at the devil's house?
where am i from again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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