Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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