you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
