the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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