giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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