R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
