Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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