I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize