I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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