I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
