Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
