i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
