i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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