1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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