I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
