with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize