I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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