oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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