No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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