Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
