omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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