Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
