I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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