Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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