Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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