I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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