they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
