just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
