Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
