making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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