Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
