Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
