well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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