Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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