And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
