we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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