get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
