I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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