he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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