got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
