I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
