She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize