yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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