whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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