So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
