Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
